Friday, December 20, 2013

The Last 10 Years

This week I was eMailing with a friend who generally responds with one or two words, maybe a sentence, if at all.  I received sentences over the course of two replies, well there was a full moon, so yeah that could explain it. After picking myself up off the floor at this outpouring of narrative I noted the last question "Any New Years Resolutions in the works?"  A question, OMG could this lead to yet another reply??? (if you are curious, not yet... I'm hopeful! I'm always hopeful, leads to massive disappointment at times.  Hard to teach an old dog new tricks.)

This got me thinking to the goals I set for myself in the beginning of this year.  I really don't like "resolutions"  Merriam-Webster defines:

res·o·lu·tion
noun \ˌre-zə-ˈlü-shən\

: the act of finding an answer or solution to a conflict, problem, etc. : the act of resolving something


: an answer or solution to something


: the ability of a device to show an image clearly and with a lot of detail


I have plenty to resolve, and internal conflicts and unanswered (or unanswerable) questions  (comments from the peanut gallery welcome!!)  But really isn't it about goals? Merriam Webster defines: 

goal
noun \ˈgōl, chiefly Northern especially in 1b & 3a also ˈgül\

: something that you are trying to do or achieve

: an area or object into which a ball or puck must be hit, kicked, etc., to score points in various games (such as soccer and hockey)


: the act of hitting, kicking, etc., a ball or puck into a goal or the score that results from doing this



What am I trying to achieve?  Sure I'd love to fit in to a size 2 permanently, but really, is that going to happen?  Ok maybe once last year for like a month, but for a long term possibility, not so much.  I like food and booze WAY to much!!!  Honestly, I want to enjoy life, and as I'm finding out to enjoy the last 10 years of my life, whenever they happen to be. 

A friend posted this video that also had me thinking along the lines of the last 10 years.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-gut-punching-ad-shows-2-perspectives-on-your-last-10-years-which-describes-where-youre-headed

Even with exercise and taking care of yourself it could go either way, we just don't know…  odds are taking care of yourself now will help in the future...

I rode with one of my co-workers to a holiday lunch on Thursday.  On the way back he asked if I was staying home or going home.  Always takes me a minute to get my head around this question.  I am staying home, I went to my parents for Thanksgiving.   I did say that I'd be going 'home' for my mother's birthday, next December, she will be 70. His parents are 75 (mom) and 85 (dad).  I asked if he has started seeing a decline, he said, he has and we talked about the timing and the details.  

So my mom was 62 when she got diagnosed with Lung Cancer.  My fear was this was the beginning of the end.  My father assured me "Your mother will die with lung cancer, not from lung cancer."  He is a good dad, this pushed me through many a tough time, and still does.

She ran for many years, close to 20, and eventually that became painful to the point she had to stop.  Muddy, pay attention --> this woman didn't stretch or strength train either; but then again way back when she started, probably before you were born, no one probably really considered such things.  So she took up walking.  When I would visit we would walk together, even after she started treatment we would walk.  As chemotherapy goes the treatment became worse than the disease and the walking ended, I was sad it ended.  She still does yoga, not so much going for long walks. I do fully believe her active lifestyle pre-diagnosis and treatment really helped her get through treatment. 

So what am I doing?  Am I prepping myself for the inevitable?  Surviving a cancer diagnosis and treatment like my mother and her brother (the one time tri-athlete, which is a HILARIOUS story, two time marathoner, and avid biker, many years riding the California Aids ride 500+ miles from San Fran to LA) or my father to be strong and support my spouse through a chronic illness?

I really don't know the answer to that question and honestly I don't want to.  Life unfolds as it is meant to. 

As to goals, for 2014, I am running a few races, ones that are important to me. Maybe that is actually a resolution?  

Anyhoodles, the Fourth Season Trail Races because what Mike does is great to promote trail racing and getting out on local trails, not to mention supporting the Johnny Cake Center.  The RI Triple Crown of Trail Racing, because I am a sucker for a series (please please please not let Run for the Beavers be while I am stuck on a boat with my in-laws, I'll hate it just that much more).  My big race for 2014 will be the Ice Age 50K, in May in La Grange, WI. Not sure what the rest of the year will have in store.  

Well, yeah, Blessing of the Fleet, after all who can avoid that shitshow?  Dave even asked if I was going to run that next year, seems he sort of enjoyed spectating on Avice Street. I said I would if I wasn't trapped on a boat with him and his parents.  Yeah, that went over like a fart in a space suit...

After that, yeah, Michael Gorman's words to me: "Life unfolds as it is meant to."   

I've been digging through pictures for the 2013 holiday card, and I keep seeing this one. This is one of my favorite running pictures, OMF 2011, the end of the year I fell in love with running, this was my 5th and last race of 2011.  

Old Mountain Field 2011 - Happily my form HAS improved!!!  

Sincerely, 
Beth, trying NOT to think too much.   (I'm dubious on that too) 

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